Stay Safe: Chapter Nineteen

Stay Safe Book

Aug 22

Written By ereeves

What follows is a chapter from "Stay Safe: Life After Loss," a book that I wrote following the death of my brother, Robert James Reeves. Rob, only 14-months younger than me and 32 years old at the time of his death, was a Navy SEAL on the prestigious SEAL Team 6. On August 6, 2011, while on a mission in Afghanistan, he and too many of his teammates and other servicemen, lost their lives when their helicopter was shot down by enemy fire. It was the single largest loss of American life in the Afghan war. And because of the high profile nature of this event–being on the cusp of the Bin Laden mission and the number of those lost–my dad and I were part of many, many memorials and events, and the recipients of much outreach, and the point of contact for all those wanting to do something in Rob’s memory. This book chronicles the first month after his death. I am releasing a chapter a day starting August 5th as we mark the fourth anniversary of life without him.

A Let Down

R. responded to my vacation request with: "I don't think I'm able to work that type of trip into my schedule right now. It’s a combination of work and the fact that I still need to sort out things here in New Orleans with my home and working through splitting up everything. I didn't want to burden you with it this weekend. It is weighing on me and requires attention to be able to be on my own again. Separating six years of our lives isn't a quick process. But I am getting there. I just need some time to sort through it. You can't wait on me for that. I just know you need a big vacation like the one you are describing. I want you to plan one. But right now, I can't take that type of trip with you. I don't think it would be fair to either of us. I'll write more soon."Fuck. I wasn't sure how to respond or if I should even respond. He wasn't just blowing me off all together, but he seemed like a step toward that direction. I was confused. I really liked this guy. And I had tried so hard not like him at all. He pursued me. And he chooses now to pull back? I decided to sit on it for a little while, though I thought it about it constantly. Fuck.S., our CACO (Casualty Assistance Care Officer), was here for a bit. He is staying in Shreveport all week to get more paperwork completed and be there for Dad. I don’t know what he needs, or what I need that S. can do, but we like his company.We received so many cards, gifts, and general messages of condolence over that first week. There were so many people to acknowledge and thank. We decided to produce pre-printed thank you cards. Miss Lettie was kind enough to go with me to help sort through the options. They have a book for these things. Flipping through this photo album-like book of “thank you for your condolences” cards was continuing to walk a tightrope of sanity for me. So many people just pick up the same wording and plug in a different name and perhaps use a different font. None of these were quite right for Rob. I decided to write our own. I wanted to express gratitude and be serious, but we needed to acknowledge the stories and laughter that were been shared over this time of loss, too.

Read other chapters of this book.

ereeves