Stay Safe: Chapter Twenty

Stay Safe Book

Aug 23

Written By ereeves

What follows is a chapter from "Stay Safe: Life After Loss," a book that I wrote following the death of my brother, Robert James Reeves. Rob, only 14-months younger than me and 32 years old at the time of his death, was a Navy SEAL on the prestigious SEAL Team 6. On August 6, 2011, while on a mission in Afghanistan, he and too many of his teammates and other servicemen, lost their lives when their helicopter was shot down by enemy fire. It was the single largest loss of American life in the Afghan war. And because of the high profile nature of this event–being on the cusp of the Bin Laden mission and the number of those lost–my dad and I were part of many, many memorials and events, and the recipients of much outreach, and the point of contact for all those wanting to do something in Rob’s memory. This book chronicles the first month after his death. I am releasing a chapter a day starting August 5th as we mark the fourth anniversary of life without him.

Being out of things to do in Shreveport, I traveled back to Little Rock on Tuesday, to catch up on mail and check on my house. I thought, perhaps, getting back into the office might be good for me for the rest of the week. Dad and I had made plans to head to Virginia Beach for a full week the next week to attend services and attempt to sort through some of Rob’s personal business. This trip to Little Rock would be only brief.But when I arrived at my house, I realized that I really had nothing to do there. The mail stack wasn’t that large. My dogs were still in Shreveport. My friends were at work. And I felt alone and lonely. Though I had been craving alone time, once I got it, it felt too quiet and scary. I was scared of my thoughts. When I stayed still for too long, my thoughts turned to Rob and I would start crying. I didn’t want to be the person that sits alone in her house crying all day.I tried to read, but couldn’t focus on a book. I turned on the TV, but just stared at it. My house was cold and empty and I was lonely. I needed to get back out and find a friend to talk to.

Read other chapters of this book.

ereeves